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 veryhotthread  Author  Topic: night owl, volume 3  (Read 118049 times)
TheMidnighter

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xx The Facts
« Reply #225 on: Feb 19th, 2006, 09:49am »

Here are the facts about Chuck Norris:


"Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer...
Too bad he never cries."

"Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs."

"Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice."

"The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain."

"If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris."

"Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there."

"Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him."

"They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody."

"Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants."

"At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris. "

"Chuck Norris can hear silence."

"Every time Chuck Norris smiles it saves the life of a dying man. Ironically, Chuck Norris only smiles after he kills someone."

"Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one."

"Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own."

"Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer."

"Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch.""

"Chuck Norris has a word for a person he puts into a coma; that word is 'lucky'."

"The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once."

"Chuck Norris plays Russian Roulette with 6 bullets.....and wins."

"The Earth doesn't revolve. It's just trying to get away from Chuck Norris."

"Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon."

"The first lunar eclipse took place after Chuck Norris challenged the sun to a staring contest. Chuck Norris always wins."

"Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat.""

"There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris."

"There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live."

"Chuck Norris can divide by zero."

"Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night."

"Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits."


There are zillions more, waiting for you to be found on the internet. Or not, of course.
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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #226 on: Feb 19th, 2006, 10:51am »

I swiped these from another message board out there...

Batman isn't a creature of the night. The night approaches Batman carefully avoiding any eye contact.

Death is scared of the Batman. That's why he gave back Jason Todd.

Batman doesn't enjoy anything.

Batman pities more fools before 9 AM than Mr. T does all day. He just doesn't have to advertise it.

Batman doesn't dress like a bat to instill fear. That's why bats dress like him.

The Empire State Building was built so that Batman could perch broodily on its ramparts. If not for Batman, the borough of Manhattan would be very, very short.

Batman doesn't need superpowers; superpowers need Batman.

Only one person has ever been known to answer the "Who would win in a fight - Batman or Superman?" question with "Superman".

Batman didn't enjoy hurting Martha Kent, but examples must be made.

Q: Pirates vs. ninjas?
A: Batman.

Batman is the only living person who is known to have deflected Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

The Batmobile is black because Batman couldn't get it in a darker color.

Batman wears black because all other colors flee at his approach.

Batman's submission to "Junkyard Wars" was rejected for being too implausible.

Batman does not use hair product. His hair does what it is told.

There are infinitely many universes. The only thing that all these universes have in common is that each has a Batman.

Batman needs a Robin.

Batman's utility belt? Filled with Jolly Ranchers.

Batman does not really have a kryptonite ring. It's made of apple-flavored candy. He just intimidates Superman into losing his powers and feeling deathly ill.

Batman does not wear underpants beneath his costume as to not have noticeable panty-lines.

Crime does not occur during the day, in deference to Batman being too cool to be seen in daylight.

The last person to say "Smile!" to Batman is still in physical therapy, but hopes to regain full use of their spine soon.

Batman once caused Mr. Freeze to make Yellow Snow.

Batman makes Poison Ivy itch.

Batman doesn't kill. He prefers to make people wish they were dead.

Batman was happier in the sixties. There may have been drugs involved.

Batman has studied every kind of martial art. He spent three weeks on fighting with cherries alone. (Red and black.) And he always remembers to peel the banana.

The Justice League all wear Batman underoos.

After what Batman did to The Penguin, real penguins decided to move to Antartica - just in case....

Batman isn't crazy like a fox. Foxes wish they were crazy like Batman.
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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #227 on: Feb 23rd, 2006, 8:39pm »

The Hype officially cracked in half from fanboy bitching when that Spidey pic hit. Spider-Man fans confuse the hell out of me. sad
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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #228 on: Feb 24th, 2006, 12:11pm »

on Feb 23rd, 2006, 8:39pm, Sarge wrote:
The Hype officially cracked in half from fanboy bitching when that Spidey pic hit. Spider-Man fans confuse the hell out of me. sad


?? Haven't been there lately and I don't keep up with S-M. What happened?
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Motown Marvel

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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #229 on: Feb 24th, 2006, 12:59pm »

"EXCLUSIVE: New Spider-Man 3 Photo!
Source: Sony Pictures February 23, 2006

Superhero Hype! has your exclusive first look at a new photo from Spider-Man 3! You may think you're looking at a black and white photo. Look closely, Spider-Man wears a black suit in Spider-Man 3. Tobey Maguire returns as Peter Parker/Spider-Man in Spider-Man 3. Release date is 5/4/07."

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LanternLight

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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #230 on: Feb 24th, 2006, 1:22pm »

on Feb 24th, 2006, 12:11pm, snipe wrote:
?? Haven't been there lately and I don't keep up with S-M. What happened?
Liar! You were there a couple days ago!
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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #231 on: Feb 24th, 2006, 3:57pm »

on Feb 24th, 2006, 1:22pm, LanternLight wrote:
Liar! You were there a couple days ago!


LIAR! you go to hell and you die! angry

Ok, maybe I was. But I don't go around the Spider-Man boards tongue
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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #232 on: Feb 25th, 2006, 10:44am »

on Feb 24th, 2006, 3:57pm, snipe wrote:
LIAR! you go to hell and you die! angry

Ok, maybe I was. But I don't go around the Spider-Man boards tongue
But then you disappeared and didn't respond to my "SNIPE! ON THE HYPEhuh!? *insert surprized smiley here*" Post and left me feeling empty and unfulfilled sad
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What's my drug of choice?
Well, what have you got?
I don't go broke
And I do it a lot
I do it a lot, yeah

You can't understand a user's mind
But try, with your books and degrees
If you let yourself go and opened your mind
I'll bet you'd be doing like me
And it ain't so bad
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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #233 on: Feb 25th, 2006, 2:59pm »

on Feb 24th, 2006, 12:11pm, snipe wrote:
?? Haven't been there lately and I don't keep up with S-M. What happened?
Spider-Man's suit in 3 will be the Spidey suit from the other films colored black. Cue outraged fans claiming that Raimi stabbed them in the back by not giving a Symbiote Suit that looks *exactly* like the one Spidey wore in the comics. Nevermind how silly the black suit would look if directly translated...they've been bitching non stop about something that looks, well, fine.
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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #234 on: Feb 26th, 2006, 12:30pm »

i dont think as many fans are pissed as you guys make it sound....a poll at SHH reads:

LOVE IT!- 435 votes, 70.16%
HATE IT!- 103 votes, 16.61%
not sure yet- 82 votes, 13.23%
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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #235 on: Feb 27th, 2006, 7:55pm »

It reminds me of the Invicible Spider-Man skin that was available in the old Ps1 game.
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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #236 on: Feb 28th, 2006, 12:47am »

Can someone explain me why Chuck Norris and his joke's are so popular?
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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #237 on: Feb 28th, 2006, 6:31pm »

Cause theyre funny.
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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #238 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 12:48am »

FUCK YES BITCHES!!!! angry angry angry angry angry angry

August 8-10 are gonna be the best three days of my life!

8th Skynyrd
9th Aerosmith with opening guests Deep Purple, Foghat and the Georgia Satellites...
10th Sammy Hagar with opening guests Reo Speedwagon, Steppenwolf and 38 Special...

I'm gonna go die of a joygasm now cheesy
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What's my drug of choice?
Well, what have you got?
I don't go broke
And I do it a lot
I do it a lot, yeah

You can't understand a user's mind
But try, with your books and degrees
If you let yourself go and opened your mind
I'll bet you'd be doing like me
And it ain't so bad
snipe
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Master Dick


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xx Re: night owl, volume 3
« Reply #239 on: Mar 6th, 2006, 7:10pm »

Make Hoth the site of the 2014 Winter Olympics!

http://hoth2014.com/
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